Friday, June 27, 2008

Where Have I Been? What's Going On?



YES.... this has been me the past few weeks (you read correctly... weeks). It appears I've been missing (not listening to) the messages the universe has been sending about deceitful and backstabber's at work (after a career of them, you think I'd have a clue about "trusting" people). Anyhoo, there are many issues at play here and I'm confident it's coming to an end VERY soon - thank you, Manea! I am truly blessed by the many TRUE friends and companions I have in my life :).

So all of you are left mystified right now, I bet. In truth, there was no deception to the event at the beginning of the month, it was what I found out after the fact. On the 6th, my position with the NEW company I was working for (that I'd only been at for 2 1/2 months) was eliminated. Apparently, the role wasn't budgeted for the coming year and profits weren't as they had anticipated. It was a shock, yes, but no hurt feels. What DID hurt was finding out after the fact that so called "friends" I had made there bad-mouthed me and talked about me behind my back incessantly! I did make one good friend, thank goodness. I suppose I shouldn't be so trusting of people... but the irony in that is that I desperately need to trust the divine? But that's for another time. NO WORRIES, though! You know, I bounce back very quickly and already have a FANTASTIC prospect for a new job that will start in about 2 weeks (yeah!). It's just a short-term contract, but something is better than nothing and it's more than I was making at Collier, which means I'll actually be able to save/earn back (???) what I HAD saved in the two months I was there... are you confused yet? The head hunter and myself are pretty positive about it and I should know something by the end of next week or beginning of the following - YIPPEE!!!!

Then the other shock came yesterday. I will not dwell on it, think about it or harbor ill will toward people who fear and use others to protect themselves. The outcome is not final as of yet and has just begun, but will be over very soon, I'm assured. "Just in the nick of time", I'm told (reminds me of a scene in Practical Magic when the aunts return...). I'm sorry I leave a shield of mystery surrounding things, but it's necessary for the time being and will be revealed at a later date. BUT, those of you reading this... I do ask ONE thing.... you can help me by remembering and thinking about the wonderful times we've spent together, love, joy, and happiness. The focus is to bring as much loving white light and energy to surround me over the next few days (yeah, tall order... but ya LOVE me, so it's not that tough - ha,ha, ha)!

OK - what else... I have a GREAT tan going, it's INCREDIBLY humid already - in the 90's and 100's - and I'm actually able to spend quality time with my "kids" (the pups) and my OTHER "kids" (my babysitting families). That has been the most rewarding part. I just ADORE these kids so much! Sure, I feel like I missed out a bit on life because I never became a mom, but it also wouldn't have allowed me the opportunity to be part of the lives of these amazing kids! They make me laugh and cry and - yes - give you a few headaches when they fight (sorry mom and dad.... a little late, but better now than never). but, I love them and they love me and I'm really drawing on that over the next few days.

It's weird. Despite what the "evil doers" (sorry, had to quote Bush-lol) do to wreck havoc in your life, there will always be more love to combat it. AND, that's where karma will come into play and back on them... simple enough. I'm proud that I am a good, wholesome person. I do nothing to harm those immediately in my sphere and never will. It's those ugly souls I worry about...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

It Was Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago, today, I lost the best friend, companion, baby and soul mate I could have asked for (as a matter of fact I did- ha, ha). About 18 years ago I was having a "heart to heart" with the powers that be, doing what every young woman does, requesting a mate . I was requesting someone who would love me unconditionally, be strong, stand by me, never run away or be afraid of my inner strength, be handsome and debonair and always protect me. The lesson I learned from that request was to be VERY specific about what you're asking for. That wish did come true.... in the form of a dog!

I am FOREVER grateful for the gift he was in my life! WE vacationed, traveled, played and had some great memories together. He was a rescued dog that they had difficulty placed, and hesitated showing me, stating that he wasn't too welcoming to new people. When I arrived at the foster home he was at, this "little man" came prancing over from the backyard, tail wagging, and when I opened my car door, he hopped right in as if to say "Let's go!". It took me off guard and his foster mother who didn't hesitate to let me take him home that day.

We did have our trials as he didn't like ANY other dogs (with the exception of maybe 5) and his health was always in check due to disk displaysia. I thought I'd almost lost him once before in Pittsburgh because the pain was so bad they admitted him to the vet hospital for 3 days to calm him and allow the disk to hopefully slip back into place (anyone with Dachshunds knows what I'm talking about). When one of his episodes would flare up, it would break my heart, his cries sounding like that of a wounded baby seal. But, I wouldn't have traded him for the world!



Anyone who knew or ever met Jake knew he was all of those things and then some. He saved my life more than once and was as devoted to me as I was to him to the very end. The most DIFFICULT decision I ever had to make was choosing to end his pain. I thought I had more time, but his body decided otherwise. On June 5, 2006, Jake quietly passed away in my arms at the vets office. All at once I felt such a flood of emotion- loss, grief, relief and love. Part of me felt like I had given up on him, yet I was constantly reassured I had made the right choice. (and I cry now as I write this)

It's two years today that I lost my baby. At 15, he lead a great life and was pretty pampered, ask my friends. He enjoyed being the "co-pilot" in the car and went with me on business trips. Bein g the 'gentleman' he was, he was the ONLY canine guest welcome at two of the Inns I frequented. In many cases, on my business travels, the inn keepers appeared to be more eager to see HIM again than me .

He holds a place of honor on a shelf in my room, an urn, his photo, paw print and "Pooka" (bear) there looking over and still protecting me. I have two new additions, though they will never replace him. Sophie is my "little girl" and ever fragile and genteel... and then there's Basil... all I can say is that for his cute and cuddly qualities, he is definitely the "trouble child" who tests me daily and is no Jake. But, it's time for a new generation and to share the love elsewhere. But Jake will ALWAYS be a part of my heart.